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I choose HOME May 4, 2010

Posted by megrosales in Uncategorized.
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At the start of my residency (specialty training) at Manila Doctors Hospital, I only had Martie. He was 4 years old. Since my co-residents were very kind and understood my situation as a mother, I was allowed flexible duty hours so I can have time to be with my son, especially when he was hospitalized and operated on for a condition brought about by being born prematurely. But my hospital job got more tedious as time passed. During my junior year, I had Nigel. Then in my senior year, I had Hannah. There was too many work to be done during my last two years of training. The hospital was under transition and on top of my job as a resident, I was made to do some adminstrative tasks. Times were tough then. Glenn and I were struggling making both ends meet. He worked as an instructor in a review center while I was only receiving a monthly allowance from the hospital. And with three children to feed, we were broke most of the time. I realize now that had we chosen a different path, especially Glenn, we would have been spared all the hardships. But well, life is full of choices and it is a waste of time to regret. All those times of struggle, all that was in my mind was how to get us out of the situation. I was focused on finishing residency and starting private practice. Although at times I felt guilty leaving the kids at home with the yaya and doing 80 hours per week at the hospital, I was driven with a passion to succeed in my profession which I equated with making lots of money.

In December 2003, I completed my training. Come January, my clinics in different towns here in Laguna consumed all my waking hours. Upon reaching home, I was wasted.  Glenn made the choice to quit his job when our yaya left since he knew that I would not give up my practice. I knew deep in my heart that something is wrong with our choice but my stubborn self held on. At this point, we were getting active in attending church and small group fellowships. Didn’t God make a man’s role as the provider in the house? Didn’t God make the woman to nurture the children? But God is faithful even if we were not. He didn’t allow the situation to get out of hand. Shortly, we got a househelp and Glenn took on a better job and not much later another greater job.

As I continue to get to know the will of the Lord, He made me slowly realize my role as a mother. There was a point where the two younger kids enjoyed the company of their yaya more than mine. You see, they cope with my absence during the day. Martie who was then at the awkward stage of puberty, had mannerisms and behavior which are not proper and I felt that only a mother’s guidance can steer him back to the right path. Slowly, my drive to make money at work was dwindling. I get irritated and tired easily. At some point, I had to seek a psychiatrist (to help me with my Anxiety/ Obsessive Compulsive behavior)  who advised me to control my Type A personality and cut back on work and stay at home with the children.  Meanwhile , the Lord blessed Glenn with promotion after promotion. I believe the Lord was directing me to where He wants me to be.

Now, I feel so blessed to be able to enjoy my work half of the day and the rest for the family. My children are closer to me now. Somehow my presence in the home makes them secure. I am no supermom, I need all the help I can get with housework but I recently discovered my love for cooking and fixing the house. The house is now cleaner, more organized and rings of children’s laughter. Truly, so much blessings abound when we follow the will of the Lord for our lives.

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Comments»

1. doc mench - May 11, 2010

It is indeed a better choice…being there for our kids over a sucessful practice.I also would not have it any other way. Seeing how well Jorel is coping with life with autism is worth giving up my fulltime peds practice. God indeed has a greater plan for us.We were even given a bonus…our little Jada.

2. Ces - May 12, 2010

Meg, once again your entry has touched something within me. I don’t think it is a coincidence that as I read this, I too have been contemplating on cutting back on my clinic hours because of my children… Scary but I guess I just have to trust in the Lord….. Type A / Obsessive Compulsive? Sounds very familiar to me.

3. megrosales - May 13, 2010

Hi Dr Mench and Dr Ces! Whew! Puro doctors ang nakaka-relate! I’m glad to have shared my experience and it’s nice to know na hindi pala ako nag-iisa.

Doc Mench, you have one talented son in Jorel! Maybe someday I can buy some of his paintings habang hindi pa mahal. 🙂

Ces, I know you will make the right choice, believe me it is all worth it. 🙂


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